When your ex’s name pops back up on your phone after any amount of time it can be quite daunting, stressful and not everyone knows exactly how to react. In my experience it seems like they always text when you’re finally in a good place after getting over the break up or when you start a new relationship. It’s like they know! (And this goes for both guys and girls!) I’ve been in this situation a couple times now and I must say it doesn’t get any easier. Any time I get a text from an ex my head fills with questions – why is he texting? What does this mean? What a bastard I’m just over him! But…does he still have feelings for me or does he just want sex? It’s difficult to decide what the best way to approach it is though so we have to consider all of our options before even thinking about replying.
So what do you do? Well here’s how I dealt with it and some other things you could say when that unexpected text comes through.
Brief and Casual
Should you reply, try keep the conversation flowing at all times by focusing on a topic and dragging it out for as long as possible to avoid giving him the chance to drag up the past. He probably has a reason for texting you but if you want to avoid that awkward moment just keep asking questions and telling him what’s new with you. So basically, keep it friendly and casual while trying to speed it along, unless you really want to keep talking.
A delayed reply is what I chose to do before trying to have a normal friendly conversation with my ex. But beware because no matter how long you delay, they will bring up the past if they miss you or have a secret agenda! There’s no escaping it to be honest.
Another reason for delaying your response is to make him sweat it out. He has obviously been thinking about you despite your break-up months ago so if you want to make him work for it just reply a few hours later (if you can wait that long).
Finally, if you’re simply not sure what to say then take your time! There’s no timer! Think carefully and try not to worry as you do not yet know why he’s texting, he might just want a catch up.
I’m not ready
If you’re not yet in the right frame of mind for him to get in touch then definitely don’t be afraid to say so. While this can be quite a sensitive time you have to do what’s best for you. Hopefully he’ll appreciate the honesty and you can avoid talking to him for the sake of it.
“Hey all is good with me, hope you’re well.”
This reply doesn’t invite too many follow up questions. It’s straight to the point while referring to how your ex is. He shouldn’t be left with the impression that you’re delighted to hear from him but at the same time you’re not being nasty and you won’t have the regret of ignoring him. It’s done and dusted before you know it.
“I don’t want to talk to you”, “go away” or “leave me alone” isn’t something anyone wants to hear or say but sometimes it’s extremely necessary. Obviously this will depend on whether ye ended on good terms or not. Unfortunately, this is what it had to come to during my latest experience as neither of us were able to move on if we were continuously talking. I was hoping to be friends but he just wasn’t ready and in the end I asked for space which was best for both of us not just me. Sometimes it takes being a tad harsh and direct to help people understand. So unless he’s an absolute pest, you shouldn’t be getting anymore surprise texts.
The catch up
This can go either way – extremely well or it’ll blow up in your face. If you want to get back together with your ex then this is your perfect opportunity to bring it up. Make sure you sus out how he feels about it first though.
So just stay calm, don’t worry because it’s not worth the stress and make sure your ex understands what you want from him/her because unless you’re honest from the start you may find yourself in the middle of an awkward situation that could have been avoided altogether if everyone knew where they stood.
I hope this helps, if you have any questions or suggestions please don’t hesitate to comment me! I may not have all the answers but if I’ve been in a similar situation then I’m happy to advice. 🙂