Challenge Day 4
Cancer is the biggest serial killer of them all, striking over and over again showing its victims no mercy and unfortunately affecting practically everyone in the world at some stage in their lives. Being hit by the killer can change you as a person for the better or worse, there’s no way to predict it. On one hand people become do-gooders and help charities more once they’ve witnessed exactly what cancer can do and on the other hand cancer can alter one’s personality- causing them to become depressed or angry for example. Yet, the only positives to come out of the corruption caused by this killer is the way it seems to unite families and people worldwide while providing them with the drive to find a cure by means of fundraising, volunteering or research.
People don’t always expect cancer to hit them but either way it attacks and it attacks violently. It doesn’t give up and challenges your entire family, not just the cancer victim, as if it’s trying to see just how strong you really are. Whether it be yourself or a loved one who is diagnosed, being aware of how near cancer is to you is definitely one of the worst feelings you can imagine. Knowing that someone is being targeted by this virus with the results left unknown is quite frightening and while some are lucky in their fight, probably more frequently are the unfortunate victims who lose their battle against the active killer. Cancer not only takes away the person physically, it strips relatives down to their core taking a part of them the moment their loved one died.
I remember the time of my dad’s death all too well. Two days felt like two weeks and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had family members left, right and centre trying to console me and I was often taken on ‘spins’ in an attempt to distract me, because you know I was I kid so they thought I didn’t know what was going on. But I was fully aware to what had happened and who wasn’t there anymore. The only person I wanted right then and there was my dad but he was gone. I curled into a ball on a chair crying endlessly for days and nothing could stop me except for sleep which was the only place I could imagine my dad’s face.
For me, nothing was ever the same again even though I tried my best to carry on as normal and live how he would have wanted me to live. I wish I could be like those people who say “it gets easier with time” but does it? I’m not too sure because I still feel that knot in my stomach when I think about it, I still get really upset 14 years later so when does it start to get even slightly better? Maybe it’s just the type of person I am, maybe I’ll never completely move on. I do think because I was so young at the time it’s harder to move on and accept what happened. There’s so many questions left unanswered that there’s this huge gaping hole where the memories of my loved ones should be, but they merely don’t exist. All I’m left with are the images of my dad in his coffin still as a stone with skin as pale as a ghost while I am comforted by my mom and cousin as I say goodbye. While this is an image that will probably stay with me for the rest of my life, I will continue to maintain those flashbacks to 14 years ago before he died and when I was completely happy, which fade more and more with each passing day. I would give anything for him to walk through the door home from work and run to him with open arms but I will never get to know what that feels like because as I get older the vividness of what I once knew will become blurry and I honestly fear that I will forget him.
However, I refuse to let the serial killer (cancer) to take away all I have left of him! This disease effects so many people around the world on a daily basis, it kills over and over again with little signs of slowing down. Cancer researchers work extremely hard to find a cure and I truly hope that one day cancer will retire and never return. Cancer may have taken one of the most important people in my life but that is all it will get from me, I will fight to retain my memories of my beloved dad!
Cancer you may have won the battle but I will win the war!